The Two Wrongs

8-14-08

Levelheaded Bob

Oh, the beautiful jewels I learned from my childhood! As Forrest Gump might have said, “Momma always told me that two wrongs don’t make a right.” You know, I believe Momma was right about that. However, how does one make right of two wrongs? What is right or righteous depends on what side of the argument you are on that generated the two wrongs that have occurred in the first place. Take a room full of people dining in a restaurant. They come from all walks of life. Some are at big tables and some at more intimate two-seaters. Perhaps there are a few at the bar or in a quaint booth, but the atmosphere is pleasant enough and though there is a lot of individual hob-knobbery going around, all have converged on this delightful spot for a common cause. They are imbibing in food, drink and conversation. That is or was until someone flatulates. Yes, exactly, someone not only passes pooh; but it was both silent and extremely obnoxious to the olfactory. What turns out to be even more amazing is that it was the guy that came in for carry-out that actually unloaded the quiet ‘stench bomb’ and he quickly exited the establishment with a bag of buffalo wings, fist full of napkins, a few plastic forks, a toothpick, and an after dinner mint. No one even noticed the devious little smirk on his face as he made his cheesy get away. The following chain of events begins to unwind thanks to the ‘fart-and-leave-the-room’ tactics of our tacky to-go order transient.

First there is the look of sudden betrayal on the faces of the patrons who immediately are taken a back at the noxious odor. Eyebrows raise and jaws drop in a near gagging reflex. Thoughts like, “Jesus H. Christ, who the hell shit their pants… God Bless America… Did someone just die… Sweet mother of pearl, what on freaking earth could smell like that?” Well, nobody wants to say it out loud, but you know the accusations are as airborne as the brown cloud that has engulfed the entire eatery. And now the prejudices start. “I bet it was the old granny at the table over there, or it had to be that fat guy that got up to go to the restroom a while ago.” Others might be accusing their own party, certain that their own spouse, boyfriend, mother or cousin was the rotten culprit. Some with a keen sense of smell might even recognize it as, “One of Bobby’s stinkers!”



Ultimately, someone is gonna laugh and it will cause Granddad to lose is anal retention as his dentures start floating in his mouth and he sets off one of his own loud butt clappers.

“Yeah, I thought he was the guilty one!” comes the accusation from across the aisle. “Stick it up your ass; you probably did it, you freaking homo!” shouts the defense.

Well, now the name calling has started, and the lesbian couple who just a few minutes ago were entwined in their own private conversation has sprung into action.

“Homo?” questions the pale gothic princess as her handsome mullet-wearing girlfriend angrily motions with her index finger, “You redneck, beer can crushing, piece of trailer park trash!”

Disgusted with the whole scene, a clone of Michael Jordan shakes his bald head, throwing his hands up in the air and says, “Leave it to a bunch of Crackers to ruin a perfect evening.”

With that the ‘N’ word pops out and it is now ‘assholes and elbows’ until the cops finally break-up the seemingly unintelligible tragedy of errors. The damage to the diner is probably in the thousands; lawsuits are going to follow, and someone was bound to be caught cheating on their wife with a young debutant thanks to the arrival of the media. It probably took days of interviews and careful crime scene reconstruction to sort out all the guilty parties.

What had begun as so wonderfully diverse, communal, joyous, enriching, and cerebral, ended with confusion, accusation, hate and ugliness. An opportunistic and prankish deed, led an entire room into chaos. The rude and comical turned to rude and vicious by the mistaking of a cause or fault, which in itself churned-up either the deep ceded prejudice or just plain stupid misspeak that resulted in property damage, cuts, bruises, and possibly long term animosity.

Now, let’s fast forward to a similar scenario at this date. Russian tanks and BMPs loaded with Russian troops rolled into the sovereign country of Georgia. They disproportionately destroyed property, sunk ships, killed Georgian troops and civilians, apparently as a result of Georgian military aggression against provinces within Georgia friendly to Moscow. So says the Russian government. However, the military action taken by the Georgians against those provinces ‘friendly’ to Russian rule occurred within the borders of Georgia. Ironically, Russia charged Georgia of attempts at ethnic cleansing that echoed the same charges waged against the Russians by the free world during the Clinton years. We busted the Soviet ‘Republic’ (it is claimed) by both outspending them militarily and by their own faulty military exploits in Afghanistan. In breaking them, we never really tried to fix them or perhaps (and more likely) they didn’t want to be fixed by us. In my lifetime I have seen the former Soviet Union go from our military equal and nemesis, to a poverty stricken nation with a spooky amount of unchecked nukes, biological WMDs, and scattered military hardware. Even scarier is that since the fall of the iron curtain, it seems the Russians have regrouped enough to say, “Nyet” to former Soviet satellites becoming too friendly with the capitalistic West. The Russians have instilled an uncomfortable challenge in this region that is so familiar to them, and offered the West something unsettling to chew on to boot. The Russians are telling the republics of the former Warsaw Pact that they can be crushed at Moscow’s whim, and that their dealings with the West had better pass Russia’s own litmus test first. They are telling the West, “This is our back yard, not the Cuban Isles of the 1960’s, and if we don’t like what is going on around our buffer areas, we will send your influence packing as you once did Khrushchev’s ships and missiles. It's your move; and what if I am not bluffing? What are you prepared to do? ”

On the flip side of the coin, the US has announced on numerous occasions that they are behind the democratically elected leaders of Georgia and other regions, and support their economies while welcoming doing business with them. Americans and Europeans are rightly appalled by the actions of Russia against the tiny country of Georgia, their President, and their newly established democracy. As of the writing of this piece, Russia was still occupying parts of Georgia and will perhaps threaten their capitol. Who is in the wrong and who is in the right in this very intense situation? It is my own opinion that the actions of Russia were simply a matter of time. It was a ticking bomb; a predictable event. We know in fact that the US had advised Georgia not to take military action in these ‘Moscow friendly’ areas within the Georgian borders. This obviously indicates that the US was well aware of how this type of action by Georgia would be received by the Russians. It was also reported that the US saw (probably by satellite) the Russian armed forces mustering to the border of Georgia before the new democracy actually exercised its ‘right’ to impose its will within its own boundaries. Yet, Georgia pressed on with its own exercise. Why? Why, press on in full knowledge that there would certainly be a response? I think I have the answer, but I want to clarify something before I expose the catalyst of this calculated act of destiny.

In the early days of our own country’s infancy, many of our founding fathers advised that we as a nation steer clear of permanent alliance with any part of the foreign world. They knew the dangers of commitment within trade alliances that could be manipulated by those of unscrupulous wealth. I contend that these suspicions were directed toward the agendas of European leadership, knowledge hording brotherhoods, and the family owned banks of Europe. Whether I am right or wrong on my hypothesis, the will of our forefathers toward permanent alliances with any part of the foreign world is duly documented and cannot be denied. Since our meager beginnings, I feel these ‘wolves’ have constantly been at our door, and I also believe their persistence has paid-off. Our modern trade agreements have made us slaves to foreign and domestic creditors to which our own body of lawmakers are helpless to intervene. Many of our lawmakers are in fact part of this New World Order philosophy. Our own borders are now porous, and illegal aliens have literally invaded our country while lawmakers in Washington have chosen to look the other way. Why? I believe that whatever the reason, it is part of the New World plan or agenda. Today there is a Euro-dollar, and there is evidence that in our part of the globe we are considering an Amero-dollar. If this is scaring me to death in my own country, I can now understand why Russia might be nervous. Americans are not as free as we used to be in the US, and though communism in the former Soviet Union was dark and oppressive, they had successfully held off the New World agenda’s effects upon them by keeping their influences outside of their borders. In other words, they haven’t fallen in line with the New World Order philosophy. I believe they fear this philosophy more than capitalism; seeing the former as an evil extreme of the latter. This has resulted in Russia’s isolation from the rest of the free world; a world in which even Red China is embracing on its own terms. Present Russia is still leery of the Order, as they have realized they have become an unwilling participant in a New World chess game. The greed of power and riches within our leadership sold our own nation to the Order. We all went about our busy lives, while allowing each uncomfortable encroachment without protest due to secret meeting and negotiations behind our backs.

Now, media reporters like Lou Dobbs and Glenn Beck have exposed the many fires that have been started but either don’t recognize the root of the problems or have realized they are helpless to extinguish them. The world is now in the death throes of the jaws of the New World Order. Henry Kissinger indicated many years ago that this New World Order would come about by submission or force, but we would have it one way or the other. Bush senior stated openly and with open arms that we should welcome this New World Order just after the Gulf War. Clinton sealed our fate by making permanent alliances and ‘not-so-fair’ trade agreements, while G.W. Bush has done everything in his power it seems to keep the pieces moving on the New World chessboard. Maybe we do need this New World Order. Perhaps it is the only way we will survive on a planet with limited resources. And as our nation of sheeple remain clueless despite a few pockets of resistance; Russia’s leadership remains helplessly aware of the predicament they are in with the New World Order. Patience has always been the virtue of the Order’s agenda. The people of the world are basically good. It is more complicated when it comes to our leadership, however. Many, who don’t see the agenda or much less even care about it, are guided by their own greed and libido. They are making hay while the sun shines. Some of them feel that they will be included in this New World Order hierarchy. Who really knows exactly, when the multitude of us aren’t in the information loop? It doesn’t make the lot of them evil or plotting. And what of the Georgian President; is he a bad guy? I say no. Is he a pawn, a Bishop, a Knight, or a Rook? Well, I am certain he is a tool of manipulation as are many leaders and influential people around the globe. From the Castro’s and bin Laden’s to the Clinton’s and the Bush’s, the Order has the ability to entice, agitate, influence, and manipulate the human psyche. They force a move, and with each move there are calculated consequences.

In closing, I have to expose who I think was the catalytic agent that farted and left room in the Russia/Georgia conflict. When it flashed up on the TV screen beside the Georgian President’s picture on CNN it actually made me grin. Recall that the US warned Georgia of the possible consequences of military action against the Ossetians. The Russians signaled what they were going to do by the observance of their early military movements. Someone urged a move on the chessboard which forced someone to do something else. That something has us where we are today; waiting for the next shoe to drop. So far only the Georgian people have suffered en masse. The US has committed to fare on the side of Georgia. Russia made its move and made its intensions known that it will not recognize Georgia and that the world better deal with them. Russia has now told the West, “It’s your move.” Oh, and before I forget, the text beside the Georgian’s President’s name said something to this effect. The Georgian President had been in the past year or few years named ‘Man of the Year’ by none other than the World Bank. Bet you didn’t smell that coming. They like changing the world, and dragging Russia into any conflict will certainly achieve that goal. I wrote what I am about to say some time ago when I noticed a ticker tape news alert on the bottom of the TV screen during a CNN news story. That story, of much lesser importance, involved that crazy wench whose brave son was killed in Iraq. She had her big ass planted outside of Bush’s Crawford, Texas ranch. The ticker indicated that Russia and China had just completed their first joint military exercise in history. I don’t know about you, but I think I smell something bad again.